Rhapsody in Black

Designed to Make You Feel Like the Sane One

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Let it Rain
Have I ever said how much I enjoy worshipping God? Well, I do love it. I am a worship leader at my church, that means I am stuck with a microphone in front of my face and a keyboard to hide behind. Taylor, the lead guitarist and I spent a few hours jamming tonight before the service. It was amazing. We started playing the song 'Let it Rain' almost simultaneously. It was beautiful, the atmosphere that was created was so...I don't know, was so majestic. Let it rain, let it rain, open the flood gates of heaven Over and over. My eyes were closed and all I could do was point my head upwards to heaven, tears streaming down my face in awe of God, in awe of everything he has done for me, in awe of the miracle of life. There are many many things that I question, things that I have done which God hasn't stopped me from doing, things that other people are going through that confuse me and make me angry, many other questions. However, when we get ourselves in a mode of worship and just put all other distractions out of our minds, things seem to be ok, the questions I have seem to settle themselves. I haven't seen The Passion of the Christ, and don't intend to, not anytime soon anyways, but the image of the cross is in my head. I asked God to show me how much He loves me, how much he loves you and what He went through on the cross, to assure you of eternal life is the picture I have. Why does nothing seem to matter when my eyes are focued on Him?
I have been going through some things lately. If you went to school with me last year you will know what I mean. It is all beginning again. It is painful. This is why my blogs seem to be so different lately. One thing though, the Passion of the Christ, what He did for me on Calvary's cross, I can't ever get that image out of my head.
The Lord Reigns, let the earth be glad. Let the distant shores rejoice and clouds of thick darkness surround Him. Righteousness and Justice are the foundation of His throne. A fire goes before Him and consumes His foes on every side. His lightening lights up the world. The earth sees and trembles, the mountains melt like wax at the presence of the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth. The heavens proclaim his righteousness and all people will see His glory. We want to see your glory Lord.
If we could just get one single glimpse of Christ's love for us, things that seem to tie us down in our everyday life would be so non deserving of our energy and anxiety. I have been wracked with panic for the past few days, needing to hold on to something just to catch my breath. I put my focus on the cross, and it vanishes, the panic just stops. I wish we could have a pure image of the lengths Christ went for us on te cross to assure us of everlasting life, to let us konw that everything is covered under the blood, and that our eyes should be fixed on the Lamb of Glory, and not simple things of this earth. If I could get that image in my head, if it could stay in my head, it would be life changing.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Despiration
Again, I am begging for prayer. If you missed my post that was asking for prayer for a dear friend of mine, here I am asking again. This is pleading. No details, just pray. Whatever God lays on your heart, pray it.
And also, if you are reading this by chance, or whatever, whatever reason you are here I am asking, begging, pleading with you to take care of yourself in any way possible. If that means a mammogram, please don't hesitate at all. If that means any sort of examination to test for any disease, do it now, before it is too late. If you are struggling with anything, seek help. Take care of yourself. If you need anything, my comment box is open.
And again, for my friend, pray for peace.

Along life's road
There will be sunshine and rain
Roses and thorns, laughter and pain
And 'cross the miles
You will face mountains so steep
Deserts so long and valleys so deep
Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember
I want you to know

You will never walk alone
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
You may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone

The path will wind
And you will find wonders and fears
Labors of love and a few falling tears
Across the years
There will be some twists and turns
Mistakes to make and lessons to learn
Sometimes the journey's gentle
Sometimes the cold winds blow
But I want you to remember
Wherever you may go

You will never walk alone
As long as you have faith
Jesus will be right beside you all the way
You may feel you're far from home
But home is where He is
And He'll be there down every road
You will never walk alone

Jesus knows your joy,
Jesus knows your need
He will go the distance with you faithfully

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

The Unfinished Story
Disclaimer: I want to write a story. However, there is one catch; I am starting it and you, my people, will use your creative wit and heads to add colour to the little story. This should in no way inhibit your artistic, seductive and creative abilities. Feel free to use my comment box system to free your mind. Enjoy this little activity, but keep in mind- you can only have two consecutive comments at a time, leave some for others, and then go back. Good luck, may the most creative person survive. Words you can use (without getting introuble and kicked off): cream sauce, milkshakes, bumpin' uglies, soda, crocodile, white chocolate, french fries, position. Again, I don't want to inhibit your talents, but please refrain from using vulgar language.

Part One
It is a beautiful October evening. The air is crisp, and so are my chips; Lays, I betcha can't eat just one. Barbeque my favourite, although sometimes they get a little too hot to handle. My mouth burns and I need something to soothe it. By the way, my name is Kimberly Stroud, I'm a writer and my doctors say I have agorophobia but I don't know what that means. My parents are away on business in the jungle heart of KEnya, leaving me and a cat named 'Asif' at home with our thoughts and an olympic sized indoor pool.
I've been homeschooled my whole life and am now taking correspondence University classes and am well on my way to being top of my class, although I am not too sure how many people are in my class. Last year I held the freshman dance here at the estate, but I was the only one who showed up. You hvae to admit though, I was not only the wallflower, but the freaking coolest person there. Hey who knows I may even be elected class president, or better yet valedictorian. I feel like I am gaining new height in this dog eat dog world. Funny thing, after the party had ended and after cleaning up the disgusting mess, I found a card. Not just any card, but a card that said Miguel Jorge (pronounced Whore-hey). This card was quite obviously screaming to me. So now, I am sitting here holding my laptop with one hand, Asif with the other and staring deeply at this card....
(your turn)

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Thanksgiving Eve
As I am a list maker, I thought it appropriate to create a list of things that I am thankful for. One of our family traditions is to go around the table saying one thing we are thankful for, but this year amidst many other things, this tradition was overlooked. I am thankful for that because what I am truly thankful for I can't even describe. It is much easier for me to write things, that way you know...it is less personal. I hate when I get into a heated discussion or an emotional discussion and I feel like crying or I start to get mad and you can tell by my face, my chin quivering, or whatever. This way you can't see anything...HA!
1. Salvation
2. the family that I speak to on a semi daily basis
3. the continuation of my life, and my next breath
4. music
5. ability to play music
6. amazing friends, seen and not seen
7. forks and spoons
8. Hand sanitizer
9. my beautiful home, an places in it which give me sanctuary
10. knowledge
11. Dictionaries
12. grace and mercy
13. words
14. old people
15. children
16. my Nalgene bottle, and my deceased Nalgene bottle

Something weird, an epiphany I had today. As I was cleaning out my hard drive, especially my music folders I noticed that each and every song had some emotional significance to it. Each were songs of deep pain, joy, ecstacy and the like. I was confronted with the thought of why this music attracts it self to me. I think it is all part of this huge plan to get me out of my emotinal shell, all parts of a plan that help me show how I feel. Music and I are like a hand to a glove, chocolate to peanut butter, Kate to nuts (kate being the squirrel....) Where I am, so also is music. Lately I have been listening to Maroon 5, Tim Hughes, A Perfect Circle, Jason Upton, etc. Anyways I thought I would share that.
Oh and yesterday I wrote this poem. It just kind of fell out of my head. I'm not really sure what I meant by it. It is just a symbol of how we are after all our mistakes have been made, and how we catch a glimpse of Jesus and His everlasting grace and allow ourselves to be put on the potter's wheel. Jesus is the author of our life, He created us in His image, which is a hard concept to grasp. Jesus is beautiful and that is manifested in everything we see. I bought some mums yesterday and they are beautiful, sunshine pouring though open clouds is beautiful, rain and thunderstorms are beautiful. Jesus' beauty is all around us, it's everywhere. Is this poem about me? I am not sure. I know that I can identify with each line, and I think I have fallen off of the potters wheel several times. Anyways, just something I wanted to share :)

An Ode to Beautifulness
At a time when darkest was all you could see
Everything within you screamed to try harder
When simplicity demanded the whole of your time
And elegance seemed to befall you
In an age where deception was your closest friend
You latched on, unaware of the consequences
At a place that seemed to feed your every need
And running put you further back in the race
In one instance it flashes by, like angels wings
Throwing you into a whirlwind of "but whys?"
Your head says one thing but your heart knows the truth
Like a blanket, your heart wraps itself into this truth
Pleading with it, begging it to release you
Soft, onto the pillow you fall lifeless, like clay
Into the hands of the most skillful artist
Whose gentle hands smooth over and put together
Shards of a life once broken, now mended.