Rhapsody in Black

Designed to Make You Feel Like the Sane One

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Blue Mourning
I think I am going to take a break from blogging. I am just not feeling it right now. I said a while back that I was going to take sabbatical, well...that would really come in handy right now. I would like to become a recluse and live in a mountain cave in Tibet. I have nothing left to say that I feel like sharing with the blogging community at the moment. This could just be a mood I am in, and you may see me blogging again tomorrow, I am not sure. This is not the end of Rhapsody in Black, not at all. I enjoy this outlet, it is a nice punching bag; something to transfer my anger, disappointment, joy, etc. onto. It has, in some way brought me closer to the RUC blogging community, which is nice. I enjoy reading professors blogs, and students alike. It is nice to read and learn of different perspectives and beliefs. It is nice to branch out of the said community and take in different perspectives from around the world, read of others joys and pains, get to know people on a level through words. I haven't met too many people outside of the Redeemer University Blogosphere, but the one(s) I have are such amazing people. You know what, I think I am just having an 'I feel fat day'...I could just be moody and angry. I think what I am doing here is saying I feel a bit out of control and instead of controling my food, I will control my blogging, something less harmful then food. I also think that my relationship with God, and my daily walk with him has sucked since I went on that retreat, no wonder I am feeling crappy. Never mind.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

And I Thought That I Was the Master of Freudian Slips
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Monday, August 30, 2004

Weekend Retreat and Other Musings
I am speechless. I have been struggling with my thoughts and trying to write something that would make sense about this past weekend. Nothing seems to make sense. What I experienced this weekend was totally out of the ordinary. I am not sure if you have ever felt Jesus so close to you that it was almost like He was hugging you, but that is how I felt this whole weekend. I am still struggling for words here. It is hard to see yourself in God's eyes when you're not to pleased with yourself. I have strived for perfection in many areas of my life (academically, musically, physically, morally) and yet nothing seemed to find its way to perfection. I realized this weekend that I am perfect because I am made in the image of Christ. As a Christian we are all 'in His image' (that is something to ponder, it's huge). I realized that all my strivings were in vain, and that my actions towards myself and others hurt God. I know this may seem kind of un-understandable, I really can't put my thoughts into words, really. One glimpse of eternity, and knowing how much Jesus loves us makes the world seem a lot easier. Things start to hold a different type of importance; concerns aren't so important. My life in Christ as new meaning to it now. I spent so many years in this funk, trying to find myself, starving for perfection, craving something to fill the emptiness, wearing myself out..but just one glimpse of His love has overtaken the feelings that had me bound. That is what I learned this weekend.
Faith and I talked today. It is hard to talk to her because she is very childlike, very simple. I think I love her. If Jesus loved us so much that he would die for us, that surely includes Faith. We talked about blueberry suckers, holidays, children, birds and bees, new jobs, lipstick, etc. It was like talking to an old friend. I wonder if she still feels threatened by me?
My sister is the cutest thing alive. Her and I clash (very much so). We are like far apart in age, and totally different generations almost. Today felt different. I took her too the mall and we just looked at hair dye and stuff. I leant her a pair of jeans (which is a huge step for us...she is a punk, I am a prep, sharing clothes is almost forbidden). Tonight we laughed our butts off. Moments like these are priceless.
I want to say so much more, I want to talk about conversations that I have had recently, about books I have read, about playing in my worship band. I want to ask a plethora of questions, but I don't know where to start.
This song has been going through my head all day, I am going to share it because I know that it is for someone. I have posted it before, but repition is always good. It isn't a well known song as of yet, and if I had some way of recording and posting I would sing and play this song for you, but for now reading it will still work. Whatever ever you are going through today, this season, this chapter of your life, wherever you come from and whatever your religious background just know that Jesus loves you so very much.
I've Had Questions:
I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow I have known pain
But there's one thing that I'll cling to
You are faithful Jesus, you're true

When hope is lost I'll call you saviour
When pain surrounds I'll call you healer
When silence falls you'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my suffering
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender forever more

When hope is lost I'll call you saviour
When pain surrounds I'll call you healer
When silence falls you'll be the song within my heart

I will praise you I will praise you
When the tears fall so I will sing to you
I will praise you Jesus, praise you
Through the suffering still I will sing

Sunday, August 29, 2004

I like hymns. Here are a few of my favourite :)

Softly and Tenderly:
Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling,
calling for you and for me;
see, on the portals he's waiting and watching,
watching for you and for me.
Come home, come home;
ye who are weary come home;
earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling,
calling, O sinner, come home!

Why should we tary when Jesus is pleading,
pleading for you and for me?
Why should we linger and heed not his mercies,
mercies for you and for me?

Time is now fleeting, the moments are passing,
passing from you and from me;
shadows are gathering, deathbeds are coming,
coming for you and for me.

O for the wonderful love he has promised,
promised for you and for me!
Though we have sinned, he has mercy and pardon,
pardon for you and for me.

Blessed Assurance:
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.
This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
angels descending bring from above
echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
watching and waiting, looking above,
filled with his goodness, lost in his love.