Rhapsody in Black

Designed to Make You Feel Like the Sane One

Friday, May 07, 2004

Friday Fives
1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Ms. Del Col (we had to say Ms. or she'd yell at us. She used to call us bad names too)

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Strawberry Shortcake, and Tale Spin

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
Sarah Comer, and Lisa Essegern

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
Rice Krispies with Bananna

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
dont remember

In Shock
I was doing some research on the internet today and I came across an article that shocked me. I have a hard time with thoughts of abortion. I remember as a young teen rallying with my church outside a clinic in my town that recently embraced the pro-choice movement, and then I remember being in that room as a young adult holding my friends hand as she was about to abort the baby she was carrying. As a Christian I struggled with this, and a few years later had to struggle with it again. I have completely supported the friends that have had to give up their children because of parents, because of strict religions, because of stupid choices and being super young. I have acted Christian like towards them and prayed for them, but to this day the guilt that I feel for having supported this type of destruction still bothers me. Now I read an article that speaks about this being publically displayed on British televsion. I am sickened. I don't know what to say. I am speechless. Why is it that we are immune to these things, it is almost natural to expect.
There have been many times in my life where I have had to question God's sovereignty, His grace and also His presence in my life. I have often strayed away from God getting caught up in the daily struggles of being a stuent, being a girl, and being a Christian. It's in the hard moments when God wants to meet us and remind us that His love lasts forever and He helps us realize that the situations we are going through are not going to last forever, but are just a mere sideroad in the journey of life. Today happens to be one of the days I question God. I am struggling with the questions of why am I sick? what am I going to do after graduation? how will I serve God with my whole life when I don't feel right? why did I miss the final episode of 'Friends' last night? (no, that is a joke). I have come across a worship song that is very touching. For me it is an emotional song because I remember that God really is there. So maybe this can be an encouragement for you.
When Tears Fall
I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow I have known pain
But there's one thing that I'll cling to
You are faithful Jesus, you're true.

When hope is lost I'll call you saviour.
Wen pain surrounds I'll call you healer.
When silence falls you'll be the song within my heart.

In the lone hour of my sorrow,
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender forever more.

When hope is lost I'll call you saviour.
Wen pain surrounds I'll call you healer.
When silence falls you'll be the song within my heart.

I will praise you, I will praise you
When tears fall still I will sing to you
I will praise you Jesus praise y ou
Through the suffering still I will sing.
~Tim Hughes

Thursday, May 06, 2004

To my "husband" (he he, what a bad inside joke that has turned out to be dude). I am writing you this ode, because I think you deserve it. You make me laugh constantly at work with your dry humor and crazy antics on "the other side"

When on a blustery day
Did you come over and ask to play.
Thinking to myself "he seems nice and clean"
So I took up the chance and tried not to be mean.
We talked and shared over coke and wine
When you asked me so plainly "will you be mine"
I laughed and said, "you are so drunk and I think you might bend...
So lets just have fun and keep it as friends".
But you being determined took no for an answer
And jumped around like a crazy ole dancer.
I stuck to my guns and didn't give in
Even though you thought you would eventually win.
School and stress was my remark
And to that you replied "you busy old fart"
So we shared some fun times at work on weekends
Just laughing and sharing like long lost friends.
Pizza and more pizza was the food you chose to eat (me being vegan)
But popcorn you'd bring and said "go on pig in".
We thought up a crazy story to tell to your friends,
And told them forsure this was not pretend.
Your daughter is Skye and she is a pretty little girl,
If someone finds out she isn't real, I might hurl.
And now you say that you need to go away
And work in the army for more then a day.
Your leaving your job to go fight for peace,
Working with those bomb thingies (or whatever they are) is your release.
It's not like you are going to Meaford or T.O
But far far away to a place I don't know.
I think if you want to do something for humanity
This is the place, and its lacking in vanity.
You'll totally be missed by me and the rest,
And probably the twins although they are pests (cute ones...Michelle and Kara).
Marion and Allan will be lacking a bud
And Melanie and I wont get to see our stud.
Skye will be lonely missing her dad
But he'll send pictured all decked out in army clad.
Unfortunately for you there is Steve and the Sucubus
Who will feel the void of your car, and have to take the bus.
Lex and Kimmy will be oh-so-proud
And scream and yell for you being totally loud.
For me, I will stay and work and break alone,
And never eat pizza holding back to the bone.
Deb and Ursula and Barb and all the talkers
Will say you are sad working here without your stalker.

~hope you have a fun time blowing up stuff. I can say that and joke because you aren't actually doing the real fighting thing.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

(en medias res) So last night when I got home from work I was feeling alittle weird. I am not sure if I ate something funny or what. I don't think I ate something funny because basically I had soup yesterday and a tuna sandwich (my grandmother made it for me and then maliciously bribed and tricked me into eating it). So something wasn't sitting right. I just headed to bed thinking I would sleep it off. Little did I know that as soon as I lied down the pain would become greater. So I grabbed the only thing I could think of (water and a whole bottle of Advil Xtra strength) and downed about half the bottle. SO in a matter of about ten minutes I could barely see, was throwing up, and still in a whole lot of pain. I thought I would feel better after I threw up, so I walked back to my room and threw myself on my bed, only to start the episode again. Not being able to think straight because of the medication I downed another quarter of the bottle. I was in so much pain though so I thought it was ok. There was no way that I could sleep which didn't hurt so I just sat up and propped pillows up, but it didn't work. So from abot 11PM-4AM I was not sleeping, in huge pain, and practially smashed from the Advil. I didn't dare stand up because I thought "dude, you can't even see....if you stand up you are going to fall over". Anyways, so I was like a second from driving myself to the hospital, but again the better, logical, conscious side of me was saying "dude, HELLO you can't even see..." So I just lay/sat there are bundled up in my blankets and cried and cried. I was drinking a lot of water because I wanted to "purge" the Advil out of my system, thinking that would probably be my best option at that point. Basically it just mad me have to pee a lot and running to the bathroom in the condition I was in was not a cool thing to do. Anyways, around 3:30 the medication started to kick in, thank God, and I tried to savour the pain free moments before falling asleep. I am not really sure what happened last night, but I can say that Advil does give you alittle hangover and now I feel gross. My stomach still hurts, but not as much. I can see better this morning. My vision isn't so doubled and my head doesn't tilt to one side. I think I was having a severe migraine. I get really bad ones like that maybe twice a year and the little ones happen like everyother week. Anyways, I had a migraine before and if made me almost blind for like half an hour (but there was this light show going on in my head...and the medicine was fun, but apparently illegal in Canada). Anyway, so I am considering the following about last night (brace yourselves for a list):
1. head pain
2. stomach pain
3. puking
4. Advil not working
5. 5 hours of pain
6. definitely a migraine

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I would just like to let everyone know how upset I am about a good friend of mine who has gone down several notches in my books. He has stolen something from me which I will be forever voided of. I would just like to say shame on you. And like I said on your comment box, as a good student of English, or anything one must site where one got their information from. I now understand how upsetting it is to be stolen from, especially my OWN ORIGINAL THOUGHTS.
I guess this is a good preface to my writings on plagerism which I have been studying. Thank you *Melissa for allowing me the oppertunity to feel first hand what it is like to be stolen from.

*all names have been changed to protect the guilty party's identity. However, if you really want to know who it is, just click on the bold writing above....whooooaaa haaaa haaaa.
I was talking to a friend yesterday and he pointed out to me that I had an affinity for lists. I laughed and pushed that comment aside. As I was re entertaining the thought today I noticed that indeed it is true. I would like to justify that comment and state why I like lists.
#1 it gets to the point
#2 it helps me remember things
#3 I am a super organized person and lists are organizable
#4 they are easy to read
#5 I just feel like it, ok
Alright, so there.

Anyways, on a more serious note I am going to a funeral on Thursday. There is a lovely family that goes to my grandmother's church (the Heikoops). Anyway, the sister of the brother's that attend has died. She was 27. She was driving her car to her friend's house in Flamborough and crashed into a truck. This family is amazing. They are just so kind and nice, and obviously Dutch, the whole family has myriads of children. Anyways, so if you could just keep the family in prayer, they really need it right now. Fortunatey I do not know the sister, but I do know the brothers and if she is anything like them, there is certainly a void.
So, I was thinking about what I had to do this week, and fortunately it means no huge papers, no reading perverted authors, no reading philosophy etc. All I have to do is:
~organize my library (match books to their publication company)
~make space for my new PC
~put up new curtains in my room (so cool, kind of eclectic....I put all the sheer scarves that I bought in Portugal altogether)
~make some dessert
~buy my mother a mother's day gift (I dunno what to get her, she has like everything)
~GO pick up a pay cheque from babysitting all these bratty kids at a day care
~deposite my "real work" pay cheque
~ shop for Dr. Marten Sandals (yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
~take my mother to see a movie (she wants to see Mean Girls)
~oh oh and I have to buy meat for the BBQ that my mother is hosting on Sunday...my whole family is coming, I am so excited.....(I will buy veggie burgers for a joke)
~oh and I have to work every night.
anyways, so there you have, my list of things to do. Hopefully I will remember.

Monday, May 03, 2004

Sometimes I forget who I am, and if I can do that, so can you so here is alittle refresher (mainly for myself). Thank you to my long lost friend in Portugal that just sent this to me (I hate these BTW).

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? I have always wanted to live on the beach front.
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? Bluenotes Jeans, and my sweatpants from Boat House
5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? When I went to Portugal there was this week that I went on Vacation to the South and there was this awesome resort there and I would go for a run on the beach every morning and after that I would take my Bible and go sit in this hole in a rock right near the crashing waves, it was magnificent.
6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? In a busy, stuffy mall
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? my hands. They get really crammpy because of how many hours I put in playing the piano. They are always sore :(
9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? now that I am not in school and don't have to wake up at 5:30, I sleep in until 6:35.
10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Friends and Judging Amy
11. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? Slow cooker, you can make some pretty awesome soups in that thing
12. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY? Swinging on the swings with my mom when I was like 3, she used to sing Imagine from Polka dot door
13 . WHAT ANGERS YOU? Alot of things mostly people.
14 . WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? My friends are super funny.
17. IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT CURRENT/FORMER HOLLYWOOD STAR WOULD PLAY YOU? At My age now, Mandy Moore, alittle older, Meryl Streep, and old old.....Julie Andrews
19. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Balloonia. I have lost the book and have been searching for it everywhere. I was not one to enjoy Dr. Seuss
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Spring, when one minute it is alright to wear capris and later in the day you can curl up in a blanket, I love it.
21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? I hate it when my mother asks me to prepare food. Especially like chicken like cutting it up for stir fry, UG!
23. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO/PEIRCING, WHAT IS IT? I have considered both, and both cause pain and I don't do well with pain, so neither.
24. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CRUSH AND AT WHAT AGE? when I was 6 this boy named Johnathan Little and I were secretly going out. It was a Sunday School/ Pastors Kid thing
25. THE SONG THAT DESCRIBES YOU?: "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
26. DO YOU PREFER CAT'S OR DOG'S? I don't like animals personally, however I live my cat Tilly, she's my baby, and I really want a pug dog....Herbert
27. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? binoculars, a telescope, blanket, chicks (uh, stuffed toy chickens)
29. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Carrie and Sarah
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST REGRET? I have no regrets

~wow what a question to end on. Anyways. I think I remember who I am now

Sunday, May 02, 2004

This weekend at work has proved to be the most exciting weekend of working in my four years of being with this company. I was sitting in the cafeteria with my good friend chatting about the calls that we've had. I was enjoying the delicious soy products that I was consuming, while watching my cannibal friend devour her leftover roast beef and potatoes. We were laughing and haveing a great time when the fire alarm went off. It was the slow beep so we figured it was just a drill and everything was ok. So we continued our talking amidst the annoying sound. For some reason I decided to bring out all my belongings on my break. I had my back pack, my keys, my purse, everything (which I never bring out on my break...) and then all of the sudden the fast beeping started happening. My friend panicked and ran into the work area wanting to grab her purse, while I grabbed my things and headed out the door. We all gathered on the other side of the street and socialized for 45 minutes. It was great. When were allowed to go back into work the alarms were still going off, and went of for a very long time, and the air conditioners had shut off. That meant stale, hot air. It was disgusting. I puked. My friend Melanie even fell out of her chair. That was funny....she thought there was a gas leak....he he I think she is just silly...but none the less, she landed on the floor.
Anyways, I have no idea where the fire was at work or what happened, so if you work where I do and you are reading this, please let me know. If that place burned down the unemployment in Brantford just skyrocked about 55%, kind of funny in a way.
So, I've been pondering things that I would like to write about in the next little while and one of the things is Plagerism. It seems that there is a lot of talk about it lately. Alittle too much talk going on at Redeemer. And I was also watching Dateline and there were interviews with highschool students and teachers on the subject. I am not sure exactly where I want to go with that, but the wheels in my head are turning. Also I want to talk about what makes a spiritually strong person, and what is included in the pure, spotless bride image in the bible. I know it is spiritual, but lately I have been really wondering about the pure, spotless bride that I am, and many others are supposed to be. Anyways, just alittle bite of what is to come in the future postings here at Rhapsody in Black.