Rhapsody in Black

Designed to Make You Feel Like the Sane One

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Monday, November 29, 2004

After much contemplation I decided to make a more mature, blog. If you would like to have the unlisted address just leave a comment and your email address. I will still update this blog, but leave it at a minimal update.
On Second thought, I don't think I will update this site anymore. There is nothing I need to share here. Everything will be moved to the new site. In case you still haven't received the address and want it, feel free to leave a message.
The sun is shining today, it is nice. I have a craving for Chai tea, yummah!
~Stephanie and I have decided to start going to walks. I am getting fat. No really...I can feel it. So her and I are taking action before it is too late.
~My weekend was awesome. I hung out with the girls. We went to Montana's...(reason #1 for my exercising desire) and we came home and watched Elf. That is a super funny movie.
~I got a new cd (carrie you HAVE to get this one) Starfield...ummm I can't think of the album name, but it is all worship music. It is great.
~I am picking up a keyboard today (JD, please kick me...you know how we were going to do that music thing...I could have just used my church keyboard. *le sigh* Anyways, I still feel like making that compilation, it will be a nice tribute).
~still have that craving for chai tea...gotta get to work soon.....

Friday, November 26, 2004

It seems I am too busy to blog. That is the general consensus anyways. I will blog soon (meaning: Monday maybe...). I have lots to blog about, I think. I sit down at my computer and draw a blank, which usually happens when I have lots to say. Anyways, I have stuff to do. Tons of stuff before I head into the coffee shop.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Heading Out Again
Tomorrow night I am head back to Toronto for another fun filled night with my worship team members (Stephie, Isaac, and Taylor). I am excited, very excited. On Friday we had a blast even though I had to go to a sushi bar (gross). I sat in the back seat of a camaro squished inbetween Stephie and Derek (the youth pastor). I was sitting on the hump, not a seat, a hump. Every time we went over a bump I not only felt in in my butt, but my head hit the roof (which had a stratigically placed light fixture on it). Needless to say, I was sore on Saturday. This time it is the four of us so I will get my own seat.
I have been really busy lately. I thought that once I was out of school I'd have a bit more time for myself. No such luck. I ended up editing a religion report for my sister for the past couple of days. This is a heavy project and she wants to do her best (so she gives her paper to me, that's right folks...here Erica, do my best ok). I had fun, helping her. She is my no means an English student. Her spelling is horrid. I am in my glory, yes, utter bliss. My sister is better at music and other things. She wants to be a pilot, what are pilots good at? She asked me to totally write a section of her project. It asks the student to rewrite the story of the Road to Emmaus, but in a modern day setting. I made the two diciples John and Sam, they are walking in Greenwich Village to their apartments. Some man in a white tuxedo comes up and talks to them, shares scripture with them and speaks into their lives considering the events that had recently taken place in New York. The two men invite Mr. White Tuxedo to Starbucks for Iced Mocha Frappaccinos. They laugh and share some more and turn to the man and he is gone. Their hearts burned within them. It was a fun retelling of the story. I have never done that before. I hope it is sufficient. How would you retell the story in modern day?
I have to be up in a few short hours. My day starts early, and will be ending rather late. I need some shut eye.
I just want to end with one thought. God is good, even when we don't think he is there, there is always something to remind us of his faithfulness. Even if it is the sun rising in the morning, a brand new day. Even if it is a gentle rain, replenishing the ground. He is always present, our constant help in times of trouble.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Yeah I haven't blogged all week, can ya tell? Hmmm what should I blog about today? Nothing interesting comes to mind. If you have any suggestions let me know. *le sigh* Oh wait, I tried something interesting today. I tried to touch my toes today. When I was little I could just bend down and reach my toes easily (due to freakishly long arms). Today I tried and failed. I am aging miserably. The whole aging thing made me crave potato salad so I went to Zehrs this evening and waited in line for 10 minutes. Saw the cute Zehrs lady that comes to my shop for coffee. Ended up not buying salad, but a huge box full of "home made" oatmeal cookies.
I am going to TO tomorrow. Yippee Yippe woot woot (shut up, you are just jealous that you didn't say that yourself). I
am looking forward to it. Fun times with Steph, Isaak, Taylor and I. The agenda hasn't been given to me, but I will be sure to inform you of what happens. Whenever I think of TO I remember that I had this girl Mel convinced for a whole year that there is this group/cult called the Mole People, and they live underground (like not in the subways) and they have their own government and stuff like that. She was completely convinced. I almost convinced myself, however I do remember hearing about people who live underground? ...ok, I had better stop that. Insanity is the next phase.
I've been eating a lot lately. This is completely out of character for me. The crappy thing is, when I decided I wanted to get better, I also decided that carbohydrates taste good. This is not good, not good at all. I need to go for a jog. Maybe I will jog to Toronto tomorrow night. I need the exercise.
Anyways, Carrie, there is your blog. I have been up to my elbows in coffee and delicious cookies for the past week. Enjoying it, of course. But busy and tired. Oh, something weird. I try to amuse myself at work, talk and joke around with the Zehrs workers and you know...Just be crazy. Anyways there is this cute Zehrs lady that I am friends with. I don't know her name, she doesn't know mine. We are going to play the name guessing game tomorrow. What names do you think she'll come up with for me, dude? I know, what a stupid game, but please...I have to keep myself entertained.

Oh, here is fun stuff...boring I know.

1.Where did you get the name Rhapsody in Black and Faerie Queen? Rhapsody in black was a creation of music and photography. I am a very black or white person, not to an annoying degree though. And I also love black and white photography. Music and photography are two of my favourite loves. The Faerie Queene is one of my favourite works by Edmund Spenser.
2. Do you have photo gallery on your site? Yes, I store my photos at photobucket.com, they can been viewed at a link on this page.
3. Where did the little photo of you come from that is on this site? It came from a computer that was in my room, under my desk. I was sitting there and took a picture.
4. What blogging app runs Rhapsody in Black? Blogger
5. Can I link to your blog? absolutely, but if I don't know you, let me know where your site is, so I can do likewise.
6. How do I make my own blog? check out blogger.com (three easy steps !!!)
7. How old are you? I can't say. I am in my almost mid twenties.

8. Single? Married? Divorced? unmarried, but taken.
9. Gay? Straight? Bi? straight
10. Mac or Windows? I use windows, but I prefer Mac
11. Vegetarian? yes, I try (cheese and ice cream get me suckered in though)
12. What do you do for work? I work in the food industry. Actually a cute coffee shop, kind of like my beloved Starbucks. I am on a leave of absence from school so I work, work, work :P
13. Where are you from? 15 minutes out of Hamilton (soon to be no where near Hamilton :0) )
14. What are your hobbies? traveling most definitely, and music: a hobbie or passion I suppose
15. What is your religious affiliation? I was raised Christian
16. What is your favourite music? classical
17. What are your Favourite Films? The Hours, Angels in America, Beauty and the Beast, American Beauty
18. Have you ever grown a beard? I can't say that I have, nope.
19. Why do you like Meryl Streep? Honestly? She is one of the only actresses that I know of who can master any accent and do it well. She is extremely gifted and I just love her. She is pretty too.
20. Do you speak Portuguese? No, but I did take lessosn every bloody day for a whole semester and I lived in Portugal, seeped in the culture. Well...maybe I speak a bit

Monday, November 15, 2004

If I Were The "It" Dude
I think I would consider myself a believer in capitalism. I say this in terms of cows. Lets say I have two cows. I sell one and buy a bull. Think of all the possibilities. Bliss I tell you, bliss. I don't think I could go wrong, unless either of the two were infertile, or prefered cows of the same sex. In that case I might become communist and have my neighbours help me kill the bull and share the meat around. They could also help me milk the cow, we would share the milk, of course. Its a really good thing I am not full fledged femininst. Other wise my two cows would marry each other and...well...possibly become bra burners and go on man hating hunts. This reminds me of my Susan B. Anthony and Simone de Beauvoir studying days. I feel like reading some Marx now, might give me some ideas if my capitalistic approach goes belly up and I take to communism.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

What Was I Thinking?
I had a lazy day. Today I spent the day in my pyjammas and cleaned, actually gutted out my room. I put my hair up in a greasy ponytail and sprayed some gross La Senza perfume on so that I wouldn't offend the others. My mascara from the night before decided to place itself just slightly under my eyes (dumb move, I decided to wear waterproof mascara the day before because I knew I'd be bawling my eyes out- counldn't scrub it off my face last night). I looked beat up. Some of my mother's friends decided to show up at the house today. As I walk downstairs in a tank top and pj bottoms I am greated with a funny look and friendly hello from one of my mother's closest friends. That poor woman. Honestly I feel bad for her. She may need therapy after seeing me in this condition.
My room has been gutted. Every note, every letter recieved before 2001 has been trashed. Every picture has been sealed in a photo album. Every memory stashed in a new organized place. My closet is now considered a walk in closet rather than an open and run quickly away closet. If you have ever been in my room you will know it is a total reflection of me. It reveals my soul and everything I live for. All of my framed pictures have been neatly rearranged and my library alphabeticalized. I feel like I don't even know myself anymore.
I went back to work last night to pick up my last pay cheque and hand in my swipe card. I sat and talked to a few of my closest work friends for a bit. It was one of the hardest things having to say good bye. This one ladt in particular I have gotten to know quite well. We would go on power walks during our lunch breaks. She called me her daughter; she only had a son. She cried when I left, I tried to hold in my tears, just so that I could be strong. My eyes just filled, but it didn't spill over. I hugged her and she wouldn't let go, she kissed my forehead, held my arm, kissed my cheek and then my hand. I wondered what was going through her mind, I have never seen her like that before. I touched her nose and told her I loved her. I went on to say good bye to Mel, my beloved work twin. The poor girl is so spastic, we get along so well. I even convinced her to hug me. Not that I am creepy or anything, she just never hugs anyone. I will most definitely be seeing her often. Saying good bye to Dee was almost the hardest thing. In that moment, all the tears I had been holding back suddenly spilled, I felt choked and I shook. I thought of moments I spent talking to Shar, and hearing what she had been through. I tried to catch my breath but the emotion overtook me. I put my head in my hands and wept. Reality had finally set in and my heart bled. I had to grip my thumb with my teeth to catch a steady breath. Holding Dee's hand I said I would walk through this with her to the end. She has no idea what is instore for her. Can anyone? She looked terrified, and gripped my hand tighter. I want to know why? I have questions and I am demanding answers. I want to know why things happen? Why innocent families have to be torn apart because of disease? Why we have to live with the hours after? Why we have to live with the terrifying minutes just before?
I have never lost a close family member in death, friends yes. I don't know how to articulate anything that would bring comfort or hope to those who do suffer. Unfortunate is the nicest way I can put it. it is unfortunate that Dee has to go through this. It is unfortunate that families have to deal with the hours. It is unfortunate that I am ignorant, and can't say anything else.
Four years of a developed companionship with some of the warmest people, and to say good bye on these terms? why?
Months of agonizing pain, and in one instant in the arms of Jesus? How can they cope?
I wish I had more to say, I wish I was in the position to help in a greater capacity. I wish I had to ability to answer the hard questions, ease the unbearable pain, soothe until calm. I wish the nightmare of cancer would cease and desist. I wish my friend hadn't suffered so greatly. I wish Dee wouldn't have to face this next year the way she will have to. What do I do? What can I say?